Im still alive!!

[Iggy131313]

Hi Guys,.

no doubt you have all had a passing thought in the past couple of weeks....''where is the rapidfire posting machine that is Iggy/caroline''

well Im ok, Im still here and hanging on,

After reaching a crisis point my mum came to stay, she is going back to spain next tuesday.

I dont know why but it has helped, that or Im at a good point in my cycle (true) or its a semi window but things have been a little better, dont get me wrong, Im still crying multiple times per day, still having bad symptoms and still having suicidal thoughts many times per day but it has been a little better.

Im not anhedonic, thats what it is I think, I can enjoy things, since my mum has been here Ive started to watch TV again, apart rom the tudors on the computer I havent done that for months, I have been shopping in town, been to a museum (although that was a horror show and I wont be doing it again anytime soon) to the park with my son...all these things have been uncomfortable and done only to pass the time, but I have done them and Im quite proud of myself. we have decided that my mum will come and stay every 4 months for a couple of weeks. That will give me something to aim for.

I think not being on the forums non stop has helped me too, Ive decided just to pick one forum and not be on it all the time, so I pick this one.

I will post a better update at the end of the month but I just wanted to quickly drop in and let everyone know Im ok, it seems mean to be saying how suicidal I am and then disapear, I know how much I worry about others when I dont hear from them.

Ill be back around soon guys. xxx

[Junior]

Thanks for the update Iggy. I was wondering how you were doing.

It's really good that your mum is/ was able to come and stay with you. There is nothing like a mum when we are not well!

I also like your positive attitude. It sounds like you are beginning to come to terms with your situation. That is a HUGE thing in itself. Well done!

Hang in there.You will get through this. We all will *hugs*

[Sheila]

Great job, Iggalina! Junior really pegged it -- it does sound like you're coming to terms with the current situation and becoming more strategic about handling it. It's a great strategy to have your mother come on a regular schedule. It does give you something to aim for, provide respite for your husband, make the time pass, etc. Very smart.

Just remember that everything *will* be getting better for you. So, you only have to figure out a strategy for the current period of time, not forever. And, then you'll move to the next stage of healing, and you'll have more stability and therefore more options.

<< a sock rabbit....

[stan]

i thought Iggy have abandoned us, but mistake, she is better

[m&m]

Iggy! I was about to send a search party out after you. XX So happy your Mom can come stay. My mom would sometimes come over and comb my hair, it helped calm me. I mean, nothing can really could calm me ... but you know what I mean. lol

Glad you are ok.

[Chris]

Was wondering where you went--glad yer back!

[Needinghelp]

Really happy you are doing better. I know you will heal very quick.