My Journey of Hell and Healing - Joy

[Joy]

Things have been rough lately. Not sleeping at night, worrying about problems...things that in truth can wait until the next day but I can't get my mind to drop it until the problem is solved and yet my mind is cloudy enough that thinking clearly is a challenge so I have to do, and redo things...and then redo them again...as even after checking things over I screw it up. If I only had a brain! I have been feeling a lot of stress and although it doesn't feel like depression..as in sad.. I am feeling overwhelmed,dissatisfied with pretty much everything, stressed, frustrated and damaged. My partner is going through a tough time right now and I struggle to support him..but I am edgy and biting at him too. Not feeling well has me stumbling over words bad today, especially when I try to read out loud. During these times I am noticing that my sinuses become congested. Weird but I am seeing a pattern. I cut my blood pressure pills in half today as i am feeling very tired all the time and not sleeping well. More since they were increased a week ago. So that is my whine for tonight. It is just after 5am now. I slept between midnight and 2am and since have been awake trying to fix some bills and paperwork I screwed up earlier today. Time to go back to bed. Goodnight.

[Luc]

So sorry to hear about all those symptoms, and they are typical WD symptoms to a T, Joy. The ruminations, this difficult to describe depression, even sinuses, all of it.

As for blood pressure pills, they may also have addictive properties, so, if you took them for a long time, it'd be better to taper them slowly, too.

You are doing incredible job. Just stay the course. Even if slowly, it will be improving!

[Sheila]

Joy – You found that when you decreased the Trazadone, your speech improved. And now you’re saying that when you went up on your blood pressure med, you definitely noticed you got more tired and your sleep was affected.

I’m wondering whether raising the BP meds also may have affected your cognition and your ability to focus and complete tasks. There was a big article in the NYT a year ago about how many standard meds can impair cognition. You might Google your BP med and cognitive and see what you find.

Also, JSYK, BP meds are notorious for causing depression. Also, people tapering off antidepressants often find their BP med prescription is now too high and they need less of the med. You will be changing for some time post-Effexor.

I’m sorry it’s such a rough time for you and your partner. I have had to ask a friend to double check my bill paying. You might want to try that with your partner. You prepare your paperwork, but then have him go over it quickly.

[Luc]

Cognitive problems are a big part of WD - short-term memory, misappropriating words, spoonerisms being just a few. Even interpreting the same word/number differently with each time you look at it. Amazing.

[Joy]

Also, this past week I have had some brain zaps again...and I now think that it may be from the Trazadone. I only took it for a very short time and a small, small dose when i couldn't sleep...but I think stopping it caused that. They didn't last too long and are done now. But interesting to see in retrospect.

During this w/d period, I have been watching what I eat and eating very healthy. One thing I did was cut way down on any bread/pastas, sugar and processed foods. etc. It is barely in my diet at all. Last night I had some white pasta and found I had the voice hoarsness and coughing up from my throat in the morning (I know, lovely!)haha,
i also feel bloated after eating it. When I was on antidepressants I knew I had cravings for sugar and carbohydratres. I would at times eat sugar out of the bag as I needed it so badly and couldn't get full...always hungry. NOW, I don't have that problem. I rarely eat any sugar..natural sugar in fruits are fine and the occassional treat. I thought my weight would go down fast but it isn't. Very slowly. I believe the aching I was having and the high inflammation rate in my body was directly or indirectly caused by my antidepressants and the cravings that when with them. My aching is still there but I no longer take Naproxen 2x a day..only if needed. So my body has to heal right??? So now I think I am getting infections...might be a yeast infection..not sure, but like a diaper rash in the pelvic area by the leg joint. My instinct is that there is some sort of infection going on...what exactly I don't know. I had also had pain and thought it was appenicitis. And that passed. I will get it checked by the doctor...but hate to!
Oh well..at least I have some tolerance back and a little energy. That alone will make things better. I am more peaceful yesterday and today. Just quietly enjoying the day.

Thank you for the encouragement. It is VERY MUCH APPRECIATED.

JOY

[Luc]

I thought my weight would go down fast but it isn't. Very slowly.

I'm on a low carb diet, too, Joy. It saved me in many ways. And, while still on SSRIs, thanks to this diet, I was able to lose close to 60 pounds, without ever being hungry. All that excessive weight had been caused by ADs. Though, b/c of the WD, I crossed onto the "skinny side" then. Fortunately, in recent months, I've managed to put on some weight towards the normal range.

The thing about this diet is that your weight goes down really slowly, but that's the point of it actually - you don't dehydrate yourself, or burn muscles - so typical in many other diets, especially when people go hungry most of the time (when you are hungry, your body burns up muscle tissue and starts storing up fats, because the entire system "knows that the bad times may have started" and takes counter-measures for the future. Then, when you try eating more, your body over-compensates and you go into a yo-yo mode. With this diet, I have never worried about it.

[Joy]

Thank you Sheila and Luc for your responses. I appreciated your comments. All the different manifestations and symptoms can be frightening.
It seems endless complaints I have. The Blood Pressure is adding another component I would rather not. It is a calcium channel blocker. My research tells me the whole idea isn't good...my understanding of it is that the calcium is blocked from entering the cells and this effects the heart muscles and so the heart doesn't beat as hard. In addition there is widening of the blood vessles as another aspect of the medication. It apparently causes build up of fluid in the legs and causes tiredness etc. I started at 5mg. and did ok, some swelling and urinating frequently. The meds were put up after 2 weeks to 10mg and then I noticed that I was very tired, speech/cognitive problems, gaining weight I had lost (just a pound or so but it counts as I have been so happy to see it come down post effexor). I only remained on it over a week and I have taken it back down to 5mg. By the second day, yesterday being the first, I started feeling noteably better! My speech is mostly cleared only takes more effort to think and find the right words that use to come naturally. My sleeping is not great but my energy is increasing. Now it is still low..I go out to the horses and feed them and by the time I come back in I'm pooped. So I just rest more but can do somethings. Stamina isn't great.

[Sheila]

Well, that’s interesting that going down on the calcium channel blocker made you feel better.

You know, there may be a safer alternative for you for hypertension. Omega-3 is very good for that. Do some Googling and also check out the thread here in Alternatives.

Great that you have identified a food trigger. You may find that you are less sensitive to carbs once you have healed more from the Effexor. Don’t diet. You are healing and your body needs the nutrition. People often can’t lose weight for awhile post-ADs – especially women – but then they drop it later.

Also take a look at the Vitamin C thread in Alternatives to beef up your immune system. 3000 – 4000 might be enough to really make a difference for you.

Yes, that’s a great sign that you don’t need the naproxyn as much. You are definitely healing, and you will continue to heal more!

[Joy]

Luc I guess I am doing my own version of a no carb diet. Did you stop even carbs from potatoes, yams and such? I still eat them. I am mostly doing..natural is healthy. Trying to eat blueberries, plain yougart, seeds and some nuts, fruits, vegies, milk, and I am taking supplements.

Sheila, yes, I did look at the alternative site for Omega 3. I am taking min of 3000mg a day and often get an extra one or two in. I do feel it helps me. That and I take Olive Oil too. I just bought Vit C and am taking about 3,000mg of that too. I am taking Calcium, Vit D, Kelp, occassionally Potassium, magnesium, and I think that is it... I would LOVE to get off of BP meds and WILL as soon as I can bring it down to a safe level. All these changes I am making and getting the AD's out of my system and letting my brain and body heal HAS TO help!!

I went into the withdraw of my antidepressant as more than just quitting them. It is also a time for me to make some life changes. This past year I have learned a lot! But that is another story. Interesting what you mentioned about weight loss being slowed down during W/D..poop! Just cutting out the carbs and eating good had me loosing a bit without having to try. But that has stopped much short of the desired goal. I hear you and I wont purposely try to diet Sheila. Good advice.

What I am finding rather odd is that in the past when I have gone off meds I have not just felt awful but became very depressed. I haven't had that in the least. Some bad feelings around feeling bad and a little hopelessness at times...but not how I think of being depressed. This is a very good thing and I sure hope it lasts.
Today I even had some tolerance. I got outside just to walk around in the cold Manitoba Spring...walking through deep snow in some places but feel better just being outside.

[Luc]

Luc I guess I am doing my own version of a no carb diet. Did you stop even carbs from potatoes, yams and such? I still eat them. I am mostly doing..natural is healthy. Trying to eat blueberries, plain yougart, seeds and some nuts, fruits, vegies, milk, and I am taking supplements.

Oh no, Joy - I haven't cut out all of it - just being careful about the amount of it. :) I eat perfectly "normal" dinner every day (potatoes, fries, etc.) Eating bleuberries, dairy, seeds, veggies, too. And taking supplements as well.