kindling effect

[Iggy131313]

we ahve have crossed paths!

TRoday hasnt been TOO bad I have had SPIKES of chemical anxiety and its really hard to be be afraid of them but on the whole its been ok.

[Sheila]

Iggy – Those are all really good things you’re doing to soothe yourself. Good for you!

I’m so glad you can see so much improvement since you dropped to 10 mg.

Its true Luc, whe my dr said that If I was still feeling bad after 6 weeks on the cit then it must have uncovered an axiety disorder that I didnt know I had

Uy, that is such awful malpractice…..

I hope we can all help eachother validate eachother, I am a woman on a mission now, I have learned so much over the past few months and I wish I could DO something about it.

Great!

I grew up in Poland….and when the day cam I helped to knock down the berlin wall, I still have chunks of it here!

Wow!

[Iggy131313]

I have to say that after a few days into the drop to 10mg again things have beem much more bearable, Ive had only a couple of 'sessions' of chemical anxiety a day and been able to do small tasks.

Yesterday our best friends son turned 6 and there was a party at their house, I went which was big, so me, hubby and my little boy aged 3 all went over and it was really nice, the odd stab of anxiety here and there but on the whole I enjoyed myself, I felt like me, I was chatting to people I didnt know and watching the kids play, it was really nice.

When all the guests left it was just our 2 families we are really close and it was nice to be around them. the kids started to beg me to go on the bouncy castle that they had hired to play, as i have alwats been the one to throw the kids around and be loud and fun. i felt ok so i ran on and started to play and throw them about.

I did this for about 3 minutes and realised i had pushed things too far, i was exhausted and out of breath, weak and shaking, i got off and BOOM depersonilasation, and i couldnt stop the feeling that i was moving, i couldnt keep my balance, this lasted for about an hour.

I take it that the session on the bouncy castle excited my cns? at least i know now what my limits are and it does advise on that how to recover document not to overcharge your cns when your feeling ok.

so some good, and some bad!

[Sheila]

That’s great news, Iggy. You’re stabilizing! And it’s even great that you felt so good that you pushed it a bit too far.

[Iggy131313]

So you think I am stabalising? the next couple opf weeks will be a big test, today is the 24th and each month when this time (usually starting around 25th) I go downhill due to pms/pmt.

But does it make sense that eciting my cns by jumping about would cause my cns to go a bit mad and my symptoms to flare up again?

I cant wait to drop again, I REALLY want to go down to 5 and Im hoping that after my period I will be ready to do that and get this MUCK out of my system.

[Luc]

It looks like you're stabilizing. Too much of physical exertion may indeed shake up the system, especially in such circumstances, but it's temporary if anything.

[Iggy131313]

How will I know that I have stabalised? last night I was doing ok and then I got that horrible anger/rage feeling, I went and had a bath and waited for it to pass, it lasted a couple of hours, first anger and rage and then turned into an anxiety feeling. I know thats not me because it came out of nowhere, it was definitly the drugs talking.

I so want my life back, Ive been on the 10mg for 13 days now, I will wait until my period has come and gone and then review what to do next.

Thanks for the support guys, Im still suffering though, suffering from emotional hell, I wonder if Im still in there somewhere

[Iggy131313]

oh jesus, here we go, i can feel myself getting worse, its the time of the month, im feeling raisaed anxiety and startin g to feel some of the depression creeping in!

please tell me i can go down in dose when this period is over, i need to start my recovery and im not even on day one of recovery while these drugs are in my system, i may do better on 5? what do you think?

[Sheila]

Stabilizing never means perfect stability in this process of recovering from these meds. Stabilizing just means you become *more* stable, the symptoms become *more* manageable.

Try to look at how you are thinking about recovery. It is not accurate to say that recovery can only begin once you are totally off the meds. The recovery has already begun. And, paradoxically, people often recover faster if they taper slower.

You knew it was likely you would get more symptomatic when your PMS week started, so, although it is disappointing, it is exactly what you anticipated. This happened to me in w/d also.

I get the sense that you are getting upset about having any symptoms at all. That's a glass-half-empty approach. Try the glass-half-full approach -- you are doing remarkably well considering you were just in utter hell very recently. This is a process, and you are proceeding very, very well.

[Iggy131313]

thanks sheila, i came on this morning so yes it was right.

and yes i do get upset about having symptoms but even on 'good' days i have them all the time raised anxiety etc but when they start to get worse thats when i get really upset.

i know your right about the glass half fill thing but its so hard when a couple of months ago i was fine with not a care in the world and now i cant go to work and feel disabled. its so sad.

so period is here which means its time to think about what to do when it goes, should i drop again or do you think i should stay on 10 for longer>