Petu- Lexapro,other meds, stress, kundalini and confused

[Petu]

Thank you Sheila, yes I did read the essay, there is a lot there to digest and I definitely relate to it. Unfortunately, even though it provides a meaningful context for the suffering, it doesn't offer any relief from the suffering which ultimately is a good thing because going through the suffering is the whole point of the experience I suppose. I just never imagined that it would get this bad or as confusing.

I have one daughter who is 18. She still lives with me, but is naturally moving out into the world and away a little bit at a time, so that feels like one long slow painful abandonment which I do nothing to prevent and everything I can to support and encourage.

Its interesting that you mention building a home/tribe. I've had a theme about tribes running through my whole life. I desperately feel a need to belong to a tribe, but at the same time I'm repelled by their effect of limiting personal freedom and unique expression. Maybe its just me, I was never accepted for who I was in my family of origin and so I carried that pattern with me..... somehow.

[Sheila]

Maybe you need to find / create a tribe that shares values of inclusiveness and diversity and tolerance. There *are* other people like you who are dealing with that exact paradox.

[Petu]

I guess this will be my last post here and I'm actually ok with this now, I've had one of those synchronicity moments.

Earlier today I checked out the latest posts on the Beyond Meds site. I followed a link and then another and then another and found myself on a forum reading an essay for therapists about how best to help a client who is going through a 'dark night of the soul'

I couldn't tear my eyes away from the screen because it was describing exactly what I've been going through and the methods of counseling and support are exactly what feels right to me. I've seen a lot of therapists who do exactly the opposite of what was suggested there and now I know why its never worked (this was before I was in withdrawal and so if it was just plain old anxiety, then it should have worked)

Well, I'm in withdrawal now, but as Sheila wrote earlier in my thread (thank you Sheila, I really appreciate your warm support during the short time I've been here), this doesn't have to be just one thing going on.

Up until this morning, I still had some doubt about whether or not there really was a spiritual aspect to what I'm going through, but reading this essay has put my mind at rest and I'm feeling so much more relaxed about trusting this process.

If anyone is interested, the article is by Jeannie Zandi and its posted in Undivided - The Online Journal of Nonduality and Psychology. Dark Night: The Breakdown of the Mythology of Me

http://undividedjournal.com/2012/05/...thology-of-me/

Of course, not everyone who has a difficult time stopping medication is going to go through a dark night of the soul or other spiritual process, but a difficult or protracted withdrawal does seem to coincide with deeper levels of growth and change for a significant number of people.

PDF file direct link:
http://undividedjournal.com/wp-conte...-corrected.pdf

[Sheila]

Petu – that is so great you had a big, helpful synchronicity! I skimmed that article and it looks very helpful. Just what you were asking for! It is, indeed, crucial to find a therapist who sees the value in the dark night of the soul, and doesn’t pathologize it.

And, I’m so glad you feel more reassured that there is a bona fide spiritual aspect to what you are going through. This belief is what has helped me the most to get through this.