The Recovery Will Happen - Luc's journal

[Luc]

A small update about exercises and a couple of others. So, as much as I tried, the exercise intolerance is still absurd. I still need to take it as easy as possible. Maybe it will improve by the spring. In recent time I had a tad bit less of anhedonia, but in its place lots of obsessive thoughts appeared. Very drained physically too. On a better front, there were a couple of times in the last 3 weeks or so, when I experienced "kind of" sleepiness in the evening - I hadn't had it for 15 plus years. It's still a far cry from the real stuff, but some improvement seems to be there.

[Sheila]

Luc, I can't help but wonder if you started with too much exercise. I'm still not sure you really grasp the concept of literally doing 60 seconds of mild stretching per day for a week or two, and *then* increasing the duration (but not the frequency or intensity).

A lot of people of the male persuasion have difficulty doing just a teeny bit of exercise and then stopping....

[Luc]

Luc, I can't help but wonder if you started with too much exercise. I'm still not sure you really grasp the concept of literally doing 60 seconds of mild stretching per day for a week or two, and *then* increasing the duration (but not the frequency or intensity).

A lot of people of the male persuasion have difficulty doing just a teeny bit of exercise and then stopping....

Hehe, lol. Yeah, I know what you mean. What I'm planning to do, is to start it all from the even lower level, be it even 20 secs, and will work my way up. Still, it's mind-boggling how the symptoms may worsen even after a super meagre dose of "exercises". No giving up, though. May it be a super, super slowly, but we'll get there. I'll keep you updated about the progress!

[Luc]

Short update;

- ruminations still here (the worst of them all)
- anxiety in higher registers
- cognitively still but a paramecium (malfunctioning memory, confusing things, etc.)
- PTSD
- agoraphobia


- physically rough, but, on average, comparing to two, three months back, better
- a tad bit less of anhedonia
- less gastrointestinal problems
- less physical pains
- the spring is coming

In a nutshell, still a way to go, but not missing the early WD at all.
Will write more, as soon as the orange ones have improved.

[Cosette123]

Luc ,you have the same pattern than mine at 3 years off but hang in because the bad symptomes will not last for ever.
My thoughts are with you .You are stronger than the "drugs"!

[stan]

hi Luc,

many systems have to be rebuild, and it takes more time i thought,

courage!

I think that at some point things will go faster...

the good point is you have improvements;

[Sheila]

I like the color code, Luc.

I'm so sorry you're having such a horrible time. But, I'm so glad you are able to see some improvements, and you're so good about always being very clear that, even in the current waves, it is still better than it used to be.

You are going to come out of this feeling just great about yourself and life. It's just a question of making the journey there.

<< Luc's destination

[stan]

Luc,

the high anxiety, agoraphobia, PTSD, i have them also, with up and down,
sometimes i believed agoraphobia is gone away,
and later this crap come back stronger,
time is our friend;

[Cindy]

Luc, hang in there...I had bouts of agoraphobia (I had never heard of it before w/d) and now it is completely gone.

[Luc]

Thank you so much, guys! It's been a long long way, yet, despite the still present symptoms, I have NO doubt that the healing is taking place. I SO wish certain symptoms (ruminations) abated to a degree that would allow me to be more active here, and in life general. But we need to stay patient. We will get there. What seems to take an edge off of the worst in my case, is (and NO doubt again!) not making sudden and drastic changes to your daily activities/diet, etc. This way you allow your CNS to stay below the radar of disautonomia. It's truly mind-blowing how, even the slightest of changes, may result in the worsening of symptoms.

Of course, it's really worth keeping figuring out which ingredients in your food cause the worsening, and to avoid them as much as possible (for me these are; carbs, soft drinks, caffeine, cabbage, and others).

Also, every time my mind goes back to the worst stages of WD, and when I think to myself "why has this happened to me, oh, why!?", there automatically kicks in the defense mechanism of rationalizing it; "in the grand scheme of things it was simply meant to be, and if it hadn't been for it, I wouldn't have learnt so much about myself and others, and, since WD is one of the worst things that may happen to a human being, and we've managed to get that far and not giving up, the next, the post-WD stage of our lives we will spend much more wisely and enlightened to the REALLY important values of our existence." It could sound very pompous and a bit tacky, but it could sound that way only if it wasn't true...

Keep walking, Everyone!