Hello,

I am so glad that a friend of mine pointed me to this website, everyone here is so supportive and encouraging.

I have been on antidepressants for chronic fatigue syndrome for more than 17 years (of course, initially i was misdiagnosed with depression)... I had to try many antidepressants (SSRIs, SNRIs, MAOIs..) over the years.. the doctors would increase the dose every 2 months until we reach the max, then switch to another one... none of course made any significant difference, but I was told that I should stay on them for the rest of my life to help with my chronic illness... in the last 6 years, I started noticing that i was feeling emotionally numb, i was unable to cry, I started having limb jerks at night, and my fatigue, memory and concentration were getting worse. So I decided to stop taking antidepressants.

Tapering: in the last 2-3 years before tapering, I was on zoloft 100mg. Went to 50mg for a month, then to 25 mg for another month, then I took 25mg every other day for a week, then I stopped on October 24, 2012.

Symptoms: I knew nothing about withdrawal, so I was not keeping track of my symptoms, and any worsening in my fatigue or cognitive function or even my mood, I attributed to my CFS.

However, in December (a month after stopping), more symptoms appeared: crying too much, uncontrollably and for no reason, irritability, anger, impatience...again, I did not know about withdrawal symptoms then. I thought that was a natural reaction, because the numbing effect of the meds was wearing off....

In February, I started having bad anxiety. It started at 5 or 6 am, was very bad and completely overwhelming.. the anxiety would last until 2-3 pm.
In march, the anxiety became worse and more frequent, so I decided to reinstate, after 5 months..


Reinstatement:
March 28: started on 25mg co-sertraline, took it for 2 days: started having new symptoms right after I took the first pill: insomnia, burning hot flashes in neck, chest, stomach, arms and legs, having problems breathing and breathing stops as I am falling asleep, nausea, dry mouth...etc... so I stopped that dose after 2 days.

April 1: went down to 12.5mg for one day only. The symptoms persisted, concluded that dose was still too strong for me, decided to stop taking any more meds and wait until the effect of the high doses clear out of my body.

April 9: started on 2.5mg co-sertraline
April 17: increased to 5 mg - and this is where I am now.

I have been on 5mg for more than 5 weeks now and it has been almost 2 months since reinstatement. I am finally starting to feel better than I have been since reinstatement. But not sure yet if I am better than before reinstatement. I am still having the anxiety that was the reason why I reinstated. Sometimes I think maybe it is milder now, sometimes I feel it is not better, it is just that I just got used to it, and now that I know that it is a withdrawal symptom, it does not scare me as much and I try to accept it, but it is still very hard to deal with...

maybe I reinstated too late for it to work?... or maybe I should just be patient and wait a little bit more? I am afraid of increasing the dose again, because everytime the dose changes, my symptoms get worse... and I am afraid to go down, because it is like starting tapering again and I don't feel stable enough to do that?

I would appreciate any opinions/comments you might have...

Amani