Hi, you have a cute name. Yeah I had that feeling in WD. I remember when it cracked for a while and I felt true emotion I would write it down in the journal I kept all excited. Came and went and came again..
I may not always agree with the attitude on PP but I have to say texgirl does have some good points. I think you have this ssri thing, some anxiety and a classic case of some lovely teenage angst going on.
All the activities&distraction things you're doing I think are great. Sorry, I've read your posts here and there and such but I think you mentioned you're dancing and other things. I think if you are able to do these types of things you absolutely should surround yourself with activities. Seeing friends, talking (not about psychological issues, not ssri). You mentioned your 13year old friend won't go on ssri. I have to say dafuq is happening in the world when people this age are considering psyche altering drugs. Maybe a set time limit on the googling/dwelling on these types of issues. These activities are great for two reasons I think: 1. they help neurogenesis, brain building new pathways, rewiring and 2. it's a distraction. It's the whole CBT-thing, not adding secondary fears or adopting unhealthy thought/behaviour patterns. You mentioned the hypochondria tendency somewhere. Your therapist sounds like an asshole, lol. I hope you find someone capable.