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Thread: The Recovery Will Happen - Luc's journal

  1. #211
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    oh my god, there ARE people who are like this for more than 10 years????? oh my god.

    when you talk about akathesia Luc, is it like a burning pain for you or does it have the severe anxiety element to it? and aggitation?
    Put on citalopram July 2009 during a physical illness - didnt need it. 40mg
    went down to 20mg July 2010 CT in Jan 2012 - 2.5 years on.
    Tried to restart July 2012 due to 1 panic attack (never had one before - start of CT W/D) - adverse reaction
    Down to 1.5mg from the failed RI
    Now at 0.48 and trying to stabalize - been 6 weeks
    now have SEVERE anxiety, akathsia, feel like Im on acid 24/7 depression, D/P, signed off work. Scared of everything..please God let me heal from this

  2. #212
    Founder Luc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Iggy131313 View Post
    oh my god, there ARE people who are like this for more than 10 years????? oh my god.

    I don't know their personal stories, but these are absolutely not prevalent cases. Besides, we are NOT talking here the extreme experience of the early WD as such. Not by any means.

    when you talk about akathesia Luc, is it like a burning pain for you or does it have the severe anxiety element to it? and aggitation?

    Mix of those.
    ....
    Keep walking. Just keep walking.

  3. #213
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    you know what Luc, what you are going through now IS the extreme w/d in my opinion, you live everyday with anxiety and fear, THAT is enough THAT is severe, I know what your saying about the VERY acute stuff, when I first did this failed RI I felt the acute w/d that is on its way for me when I come off this RI again. At that point I couldnt speak, I had what I now recognise as Akathesia, I was wetting myself and didnt know who I was.

    That is what is in store for me for months and months on end

    What I am going through now is less acute than that but its no life, I am afaid of my own darling child, afraid to sit downstairs, I spend my life in the bedroom because Im alone in here but still the anxiety rages...

    I imagine that is where you are now, and it is no life

    I am so angry that ANY of us have to go through this, we are innocent and do not deserve it. You have suffered ENOUGH and its just not fair.

    In a years time when I am still in acute w/d from this failed RI there is one thing that will shine a ray of hope on my own recovery, and that will be reading your success story, I know I WILL read it one day and it will be the sweetest words I will ever see.

    and yes your right, there is probably no time limit to healing, I should think that we will continue to heal for the rest of our lives...Charlie G said he was physically healed at around 7 years but it took a further 5 years to overcome the trauma, I should think alot of healing was still taking place during those 5 years.
    Put on citalopram July 2009 during a physical illness - didnt need it. 40mg
    went down to 20mg July 2010 CT in Jan 2012 - 2.5 years on.
    Tried to restart July 2012 due to 1 panic attack (never had one before - start of CT W/D) - adverse reaction
    Down to 1.5mg from the failed RI
    Now at 0.48 and trying to stabalize - been 6 weeks
    now have SEVERE anxiety, akathsia, feel like Im on acid 24/7 depression, D/P, signed off work. Scared of everything..please God let me heal from this

  4. #214
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    Luc, I was wondering, did you ever consider RIing?
    Put on citalopram July 2009 during a physical illness - didnt need it. 40mg
    went down to 20mg July 2010 CT in Jan 2012 - 2.5 years on.
    Tried to restart July 2012 due to 1 panic attack (never had one before - start of CT W/D) - adverse reaction
    Down to 1.5mg from the failed RI
    Now at 0.48 and trying to stabalize - been 6 weeks
    now have SEVERE anxiety, akathsia, feel like Im on acid 24/7 depression, D/P, signed off work. Scared of everything..please God let me heal from this

  5. #215
    Founder Luc's Avatar
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    I knew it would only worsen the situation, so no.
    Keep walking. Just keep walking.

  6. #216
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    what is RIing? i googled but no answer

    thank you
    12 years paxil(9 years only 10 mg) - cold turkey(1,5 month) and switch celexa tapered 1 year 20 mg
    62 years old - for GAD - 4 years 3 months meds free [since april 2009]

    vegetables soup - orange (vit C) - curcuma - some meat or fish

  7. #217
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    It's simply reinstating, Stan. :)
    Keep walking. Just keep walking.

  8. #218
    Dutch Café Moderator Claudius's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Iggy131313 View Post
    and yes your right, there is probably no time limit to healing, I should think that we will continue to heal for the rest of our lives...Charlie G said he was physically healed at around 7 years but it took a further 5 years to overcome the trauma, I should think alot of healing was still taking place during those 5 years.
    I had a correspondation with Charly G. earlier this year and he told me about the same. But he also told that in his time, there was virtually no knowledge about WD, no support groups like IAWP, PP or SA. He told me that because I am already a member of these websites the understanding and trauma-healing part goes parallel with the healing of the pure WD. He was one of the real pioneers and had to find out everything by himself which definately contributed to his trauma after healing frmo the WD itself.

    I am now at more than 5 years, still suffering from the neurological issues but have confidence in further healing in the upcoming years. And some symptoms have gone 100%. Other symtoms are still lingering but I still expereince the waves and windows pattern (in fact the first 20 months were one long wave). And some new, not WD related problems also emerge: realizing that I have become a man of middle age and having largely failed in both relationships and work. Though I work as hard as I can now to build a new career and that was completely imoossible during the first 2 years of WD. Even last year I feel much more energy in work as the previous year and I have a paid job now for 50%.
    SO there still is healing and I count on more healing next years. And maybe even complete recovery from WD.
    Recovering from the ravages of withdrawal after 5 years on Paxil/Seroxat, originally prescribed for stress and, looking backward, PTSS.
    Though it is hardly possible to get something positive from the utter hell of repeated c/t's and protracted w/d, all of this unnecessary, I still believe in the possiblity to emerge from this as a healed, wiser human being.
    All we need is just a little patience - Guns N' Roses

  9. #219
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    Luc, when you have a window, does the DR/DP lift? How long does windows normally last and how frequent are they? Thanks

  10. #220
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    A definition of a "window" has changed over time I think. The simplest way to describe it is to say that the improvement feels more linear now, less cyclical - the differences between a "wave" and a "window" are smaller, considering it has improved on average. DR/DP has improved, too.
    Keep walking. Just keep walking.

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