Hello everyone, and thanks for having me.
I am 25 years old and from the Netherlands. My story in a nutshell:
I have always been a very introvert, shy girl. I first started feeling depressed going to a new school aged 12, leaving all my friends behind, the kids I grew up with since I was a small child. The new school, new kids... It was a stressful period for me. I got bullied REAL bad, I felt very alone, hurt and down. Then a number of different traumatic events happened in my life. My dad died, very unexpected, from a heartattack. I was 14. 2 years later, the same with his brother, my uncle. Anxiety, panic attacks, grief... I was dealing with a lot of things. I saw my first psych aged 15 and not long after, without any kind of treatment/ therapy, was put on 150 mg effexor. From the age of 14, everything is a big blur to me. I have been in therapies, creative tberapy , psychotherapy, etc. but it was all in a group, me being a very shy girl, never got the attention I needed, in my eyes. Last couple of years have been hard, my sister was very depressed, brother too. And in 2011 my brother got cancer. I started thinking about how my meds were helping me, but I felt they didnt. They just supressed(?) all these feelings I have been going through. After a failed attempt a year ago. By the end of last year, I gave quitting effexor another shot. Now for 2 weeks, I havent had effexor. And whew, what a hell! But I am determined to succeed. But finding information about going off ad not easy. I spent some time researching and today I found this site, which looks like a really good place to me! Tbh, the fact that you cant find alot of good infofmation that you can trust, does make me a little insecure. I wish someone could tell me how i'm doing, what I can do and it would be nice if someone could tell me how long this takes... Buuut I guess thats wishful thinking. :) By the way, my dr helped me with this. I have been on 75 mg for the last couple of years. Went to 75 and 37 every other day for 2 months, then 37 mg every other day. How I feel: crying, depressed, lethargis, diarrhea, feeling like I am not really experiencing everything, which I think my dr called depersonalisation. But I have haf that for a couple of years. if you have any more questions, ask me. :) I am looking forward to getting to know you. (excuse me if there are any spelling mistakes, I am typing from my phone, which is a bit harder than on my computer! :) )
