Nancy's Journal

[nancys]

Hi, i got convinced about brain imbalances years aho even though i never beleived in drugs. I cant beleive i truated these horrible doctors that i needed this stuff. Travesty and stupidity. Anyway been a long journey to last pill. Started reducing 1 yeat ago but then added stuff back. Did.2-3 month taper before that. Severe Depression is my problem now. Was on anti depressants and seroquel for sleep. Barely surviving. How long does it take for our brains to readjust. I hear minimum 6 months. Also have bad anxiety. Problem is i have no idea who real me is. I also got a brain injury 3 years ago so i dont know what mood symptoms can be from that, what is withdrawal and what is me. Very afraid will feel this horrible depression for rest of my life. I want to know who i am off drugs and am determined to give it six months but i fear i am doing something stupid cause feel so awful. But i never even knew if the drugs helped because they always added and took away different ones. Truly i never knew if they even helped me. Please help me. I am severely miserable and petrified this is real me or my brain injury and not withdrawal. Thank god i found this site. I need support, knowledge etc to get through this. Everyone just wants to push me back to drugs.

[nancys]

That was suppose to say 28 years.

[Luc]

Hello, Nancys! Welcome to IAWP.

Ok, in order to be able to help you better, we need some more info. So, you took drugs for 28 years, yes? What antidepresants were those and what doses? Try to remember as much as you possibly can. What was the original reason why you had them prescribed? Was this depression, anxiety or something else? You mention starting reducing them one year ago. Please, give us more details about your taper. How big were the reductions? You tapered, then went on the drugs back again. Did you, eventually, go cold turkey on them? How big was the last dose/s of the drug/s. After such a long time spent on drugs, the taper should be done very very slowly and possibly one drug at a time to allow your brain and nervous system to adjust to the change.

Also, the brain injury you mention. Could you give us more detail on it?

All in all, our brains have amazing self-healing abilities, both in terms of recovering from blunt trauma and ADs drugs. Still, in the case of drugs, especially when taking them for such a long time, the reductions need to be done very gradually. Depending on what your taper looked like there would be two options; keeping it the way it is now (no drugs), or going back on at least some of them, stabilising, then reducing them very slowly.

[nancys]

Thank you Luc,
I will write all that. It will just take me little while to do. It looks like i went off them way too quickly but did not cold turkey. just more the standard reductions that doctors recommend. I went through such hell to get to this point of 8 weeks off the last thing i want to do is take more drugs again. But i may have to. We'll see. it will take me awhile to write all that.
When i write all that will i put it in the journal section or just add it here or put it in a signiture???

[nancys]

Hi Luc,
28 years on drugs
Originally took because went to therapy and brought up deep childhood pain and was instantly nonfunctional and suicidal. Therapist said drugs would help medo therapy. I did not want to be a drug taker but wanted to do therapy so I took them. Prescribed for Major Depression
Major Depression and am told I have OCD but have never felt I had it
Started with prozac didn't think it helped.
Took trazadone for awhile I think for sleep cause anti depressants keep me awake
Tried other drugs but don't remember
Took effexor 300 mg for most of last 15 years with seroquel 250 mg for sleep
3 years ago got brain injury (post concussive syndrome) from car accident, started feeling much stress. Never felt stress before in life. Faced death in wreck. Since wreck, brain hurts especially with concentration, difficulty concentrating especially with reading, cant handle any pressure, cant plan ahead, very low energy, low frustration tolerance, angry outbursts, memory problems with names,
Lamictal was added
Then I think lamictal taken away and luvox added
Then i think effexor taken away but maybe not
Feb 2012 I started lowering whatever I was on (lamictal, luvox, effexor, seroquel) cant remember. Did it over 2-3 months. Stayed on 75 mg seroquel to sleep. Started feeling lots of anxiety. Went broke so decided i should try meds again.
So from June 2012 to November 2012 took:
150 lamictal
75-150 seroquel
Took xanax 4 months .5 3 times a day
Took clonidine 5 months maybe 1.5 mg cant remember
Took Clonipin 11 days
Took prozac 6 weeks 20mg
Took Remeron 6 days
Took lunesta 2 weeks
November 2012 - Jan 26 2013
took self off I think 150 lamictal, 75-150 seroquel, prozac 20mg, Xanax .5 2 times a day
I believe all the meds made my brain injury symptoms of brain pain and concentration worse.

[Luc]

Ok, Nancys, it’s been lots of drugs and you took them for a long time. The usual recommended tapering is 10% drops every 3-6 weeks, sometimes even more slowly. It usually takes some time before your nervous system starts to recover after so many drugs, or if one took them for so long. Coming off of them was certainly a shock to your body (the way you feel now).

That said, you may still be in the window of opportunity for alleviating the symptoms, that is, reinstating some of the drugs, stabilizing, and then tapering them very slowly. The thing is no one can be 100% if such reinstatement is going to work at that point in time (8 weeks off). Also, if it will work, it may sometimes take some time for your body to catch on. In some cases, “kindling reaction” (adverse reaction upon reinstatement) may occur, which means that your body is no longer tolerating the drugs you took. It all depends (many factors involved). One the other hand, coming off of the drugs after so many years and so fast may sometimes take quite long for one's system to recover from, and the suffering may be unbearable, but, if the reinstatement works well, it allows you to stabilise and then slowly reduce the dose and minimalise the symptoms as much as possible.

I am writing about all of this to simply offer you more perspective on the situation.

All in all, I think you could still try reinstating some of the drugs, at 50-70% of their last dose. Perhaps reinstating Seroquel at 50 and Xanax at 0.25? I am just thinking out loud now - I'll be looking at all the info you posted again. Also, more people will soon share their opinions on this one and we will try to come up with the best possible option.

Apart from depression, are you suffering from any other symptoms?

Yes, you may want to add this info to your signature and start a thread in Journals, too. This way we will be able to monitor your progress better.

One thing for sure - your body is able to heal from it. Please, hang in there.

[Luc]

Ps In the title of the thread, I changed 8 to 28.

[nancys]

Hi Luc,.thanks for offering help. I am very worried about going on meds again i realized they made my brain worse. I am not sure about effexor thougb but i beleive all the others did. The only reason i dont know about effexor effext is i was too confused at time i reduced to notice .
I have severe anxiety also now.
Miraculously i feel a tad better today. Lighter, more capable of doing a task, twinkle in eye, being friendlier, smiling more, happier. This is a huge change. I think it started a little yesterday. Its been 8 werks maybe that is why. Or it could be prayer, or 12 days from stress of moving. But definate difference. I am interested in knowing more about idea of.going back on drugs but i also think if i have already gone through so much to reduce and get off that why start now. I have suffered immensely getting off all those different drugs and trying all those ones since last february and more so since september that part of me doesnt want to throw all that effort out the window and take drugs. But i am willing to learn more about the advantages and disadvantages of both ideas. My fear is that i syay this way forever. How do i know that the drugs were really needed. I just keep hearing about yhe false chemical imbalance theory and all the natural stufd that works that i decided to go off. Now i cant afford any alternative treatment or therapy. Anyway. Its a mess.

[Sheila]

Welcome, nancys!

Good for you for realizing the harmfulness of these drugs, and caring about yourself enough to get yourself away from them.

You’ve done a tremendous job of getting off all those toxic drugs, but, like Luc, I think it might be in your interests to reinstate at least some of them at a low dose. Otherwise, my concern is you’re going to be feeling worse and worse.

How old are you? We absolutely can heal at all ages, but I think we have to go a bit slower and allow more time when we’re older.

It looks like the meds you have been taking longest are Effexor and Seroquel. Then, Lamictal and Xanax.

You have been off Effexor for about 3 years?

Maybe you could get away with reinstating the Seroquel, Lamictal, and Xanax at 25% of the dose you took mostly took them at.

What is your intuition about which med(s) you might be most addicted to?

I deeply understand your desire to be off the toxic stuff, and I am sure they are not helping your brain injury – as you intuit – but withdrawal won’t be good for you either. We want to give your brain time to adjust to the changes.

Have you considered taking Omega-3 to repair your brain?

Ultimately, you will find your true self, and your brain will be stronger than ever.

[Sheila]

nancys -- If it is OK with you, Luc or I will move this thread to the Journals Sub-Forum, and change the title to Nancys’ Journal or whatever title you’d like. Then, we can continue to post on it there. OK?