Nancy's Journal

[Junior]

Hi Nancy
I am sorry you having such a bad time with all this. As the others have said, your situation sounds very complex and it not easy for us to advise. One comment I would like to add, though, is that Effexor is one of the hardest antidepressants to get off so some of what you are feeling could be w/d from that.
Having said that, I know of someone who often says "pick a drug and stabilise on it" so maybe that is something for you to consider. Whatever you decide, you will need to wait a few weeks for your body to adjust. Constant chopping and changing, as it seems you are discovering, only makes things worse.
I hope you can find some relief and soon

[Sheila]

nancys – I just want to make sure you know that we don’t know for sure what would be best for you. We’re making our best estimate based on our experience. But, you certainly do not have to do what we are suggesting, and we will support you whatever your decision is.

Also, is there anyone at all in your life who might help you with this decision-making? Someone to whom you could explain your options and discuss the pros and cons? If not, just keep coming here, and we will continue to try to figure out a good course of action with you.

Medi-Cal psychiatrists are often not the best caliber. I wonder if it might be better to seek out a training clinic connected with a med school, where you might get better quality, supervised, trainees for a low fee or accepting Medi-Cal.

This is a hard patch you’re in. But you have arrived here at this forum for a reason. You have the right general idea – get off these drugs. And you can heal from everything you have gone through. The brain is astonishing, and always changing, growing, healing, learning.

[nancys]

Hi.thanks. i know you are just giving an opinion and arent doctors...i do live by uc davis so maybe that would be a good idea. I feel like my life is totally screwed because of my financial situation and health insurance situation. I feel trapped by my situation. Very ill , no good care out. Cant really even afford supplements. Have to get money from family to live. Could barely function with brain injury(undiagnosed for 2.5 years), went broke same month diagnosed. Was getting trauma treatment for a few months amd felt relied but no more insurance.
I do have someone to talk to about my medication decisions but they dont really know much.
If i had to pick one book or some free videos to watch what would you recommend.

[Luc]

Nancys, here's one of the playlists on our Youtube channel. Especially the first five videos are the most informative. This info will help you a lot;

http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLBEA4082868014C79

[nancys]

why is effexor one of the hardest

[Junior]

I'm sorry Nancy but I have no answer for that. It just is! Along with Paxil.

[Luc]

It is really hard to say why it's this way, but, indeed, Effexor and Paxil seem to be for some reasons among those most addictive.

[nancys]

The doctors always told me they were not addictive and not harmful. I was 22 when they started convincing me i needed hem and about all their brain theories. I trusted them. They were the best in town. Wrote textbooks for medical schools and also many books for the public. I feel so stupid and that i let them ruin my body and my lofe. So stupid. I was a health food person and athlete. So dumb to trust these people and their hogwash. My whole life has been bad. They never worked and made me worse. I dont even know if they ever actually helped.because of the polydrugging. I never said wow that really helps thank god i have that. Dumb dumb dumb. The damage i did to my body scares me plus especially when i am into natural things. Ridiculous. I trusted these idiots. I realize now they put me on prozac first and i know now it just came out. Ridiculous. They knew nothing about the harm it could.cause. i only took the drugs cause they said it would help me do therapy and i wanted therapy real bad. I was dedicated to it. So angry. So angry at self. Feel so foolish. I bought their whole thing for 30 years when i dont even like drugs. Ridiculous

[Sheila]

nancys -- one of the reasons Effexor is harder to get off is that it works directly on more transmitter systems.

I have had some of the same feelings as you. I was radically against psych meds in college and grad school. How did I end up taking a psych med? Well, I know the reasons, but it's pretty frustrating.

I don't know you well enough to know if this will work for you, but what has helped me the most is to think that this is happening for a reason. There is something good that is coming out of this. I am doing creative things with the chaos and suffering. I will be stronger and happier after going through this, and learning so much, than I was before.

Take a look at this autobiography of a woman who got a brain injury from a car accident. I found it very inspiring --

http://antidepressantwithdrawal.info...ighlight=bruno

[PAROX2010]

Oh, Nancys no, do not call yourself stupid, do not blame yourself, you are not responsible for what happened. Probably you did not have capacity to take charge of your life and / or make decisions. Now you have the knowledge you did not have. Anyway, as someone said it is necessary for a family member or friend accompany you on this trip (WD). No need to know about symptoms WD, only need your presence. Nothing more, everything else you have to do.

The adventure Seroxat / benzo WD is always a personal adventure and solitude. I have a stable family (great husband and 2 children), and I felt a deep loneliness, introspection, I knew I wanted to run away but there was nowhere to hide in the world (he was running away from me).

As Sheila says learn other things, a change of values. Open to other worlds, spirituality. All this brought many positive changes in my environment, husband, children (despite my situation WD).

Courage and a big hug