my story

[morningtide]

I can't be enough for someone if I can't be enough for myself, and it's hard to when I can not feel, which what always made me love myself. And I constantly try to engage myself with things but sometimes I get tired of trying so hard to feel and be engaged again. I keep believing in magic because what else can I do. I lost so much compassion because of the disconnect of love, and that tortures me a bit. I keep my mind off these things most of the time but these past days it's hard. I try hard to connect with everything I use to feel naturally high off of it. I feel disconnected from even my family. I developed an obsession with power I have let go of, but it happened with the ability to not be in touch with the world, it made me so hard. I've gotten hard, I'm not looking back, but everything hurts even though I can't feel it. I wish i could cry but I can't. I only have whimpers. So frustrating.

[Luc]

Healing from the drugs and healing from the trauma they induce may take some time, Morningtide. WD symptoms are as bizarre and painful as it can only get. Most of the symptoms you will not even find in a medical dictionary. Also, if it was "only" the physical pain that one goes through, one's mind would be able to cope with the whole experience much better. But you will get your real "you" and your real feeling emotions back notwithstanding. It's a process, sometimes a long one, but it never stops. Here's a thread you may find very helpful; http://antidepressantwithdrawal.info...-Neuro-emotion

[stan]

feeling disconnected, or not plugged, or derealized, after these poisons happens often

[Sheila]

Jacqueline -- Given that this relationship with this man sounds like it has so much value to it, why don't you discuss with him openly your concerns about your own current limitations, rather than deciding unilaterally to end it? Something surprising may come out of the discussion that you have not anticipated. It sounds like you're being too hard on yourself and perfectionistic -- like you're not allowed to have this nice man unless you are perfectly healed.