150mgs Effexor for 4 years 2008-2012 for situational Major Depression. No AD before
Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months / last dose July 26th/2012 aprox.
Acute W/D first 1-2 months
Protracted W/D since then and slowly recovering.
Main symptoms: Anxiety, Insomnia,Anhedonia.
April 9th- 20th SEVERE DEPRESSION.
11 months off.Slowly improving
Keep walking. Just keep walking.
That’s an interesting analysis, Iggy, that it takes an average of 5 months to adjust to a drop. It could be that that’s part of the equation, but I doubt it’s that tidy. There are other factors like the cascade effects from being sick, current life stressors, seasonal changes, ad infinitum.
I do think that tapering a bit more will help you.
====
This is *such* a synchro! Or maybe telepathy. Because just last night and this morning I have been looking into the possiblity of crowdsourcing research on the effect of SSRIs on the brain, using MRI tractography and the neural map-building that’s currently going on (various connectome projects) and turning it into a game, which they have already done to map the neural networks in the retina (EyeWire).I think the only way they will ever know is when technology has moved on to the point that we have brain scans that can actually detect the state of the receptors and measure chemical levels, maybe that will happen in our lifetime?
So, it would be both a game for people in w/d to play and it would contribute to research on SSRI usage and w/d. And I was thinking of you!
====
Good for you for contacting Matt Sammet! Lovely, encouraging letter.
Meds free since June 2005.
"An initiation into shamanic healing means a devaluation of all values, an overturning of the profane world, a peeling away of inveterate handed-down notions of the world, liberation from everything preconceived. For that reason, shamanism is closely connected with suffering. One must suffer the disintegration of one's own system of thought in order to perceive a new world in the higher space."
-- Holger Kalweit
Ha, good one "pig hunting truffles". Like it. By the way, 2-3 miles a day. That is great, great, great!!!!! Can you tell a difference with the anxiety or unrest since you have been walking?
Oh please guys tell me Im going to be ok, I have the most horrendous morning anxiety, I know 10 months is a short time but I cant cope anymore, everyday I wake up into this life brings me closer to wanting to die, how do I cope?
If I knew I would recover then things would be easier but I think of all the people who have NOT recovered and it feels like Ive done everything wrong so I am going to fall into that categorie, please PLEASE tell me Im going to be ok pleaser
Put on citalopram July 2009 during a physical illness - didnt need it. 40mg
went down to 20mg July 2010 CT in Jan 2012 - 2.5 years on.
Tried to restart July 2012 due to 1 panic attack (never had one before - start of CT W/D) - adverse reaction
Down to 1.5mg from the failed RI
Now at 0.48 and trying to stabalize - been 6 weeks
now have SEVERE anxiety, akathsia, feel like Im on acid 24/7 depression, D/P, signed off work. Scared of everything..please God let me heal from this
m&m, no, I have always walked that much, I have no choice, we dont have a car and I have to walk to the supermarket and back and pick up Freddie from school.
the only times I dont do that walking is when I am in the acute stuff and then I cant leave my room, and to honest Im feeling that coming on again
Put on citalopram July 2009 during a physical illness - didnt need it. 40mg
went down to 20mg July 2010 CT in Jan 2012 - 2.5 years on.
Tried to restart July 2012 due to 1 panic attack (never had one before - start of CT W/D) - adverse reaction
Down to 1.5mg from the failed RI
Now at 0.48 and trying to stabalize - been 6 weeks
now have SEVERE anxiety, akathsia, feel like Im on acid 24/7 depression, D/P, signed off work. Scared of everything..please God let me heal from this
I have been in touch with Dr Healy asking for reassurance that I will recover he said this
Re reassurance - there are the reassuring or not things I might say and there is your reassurability, In this case the issue feels like your reassurability
what do you think that means? I understand that he is saying I am not able to be reasurred in my current state of mind, but what do you think he means by the first part 'reassuring or not things' do you think he means that yes there is a chance I will not recoiver?
Put on citalopram July 2009 during a physical illness - didnt need it. 40mg
went down to 20mg July 2010 CT in Jan 2012 - 2.5 years on.
Tried to restart July 2012 due to 1 panic attack (never had one before - start of CT W/D) - adverse reaction
Down to 1.5mg from the failed RI
Now at 0.48 and trying to stabalize - been 6 weeks
now have SEVERE anxiety, akathsia, feel like Im on acid 24/7 depression, D/P, signed off work. Scared of everything..please God let me heal from this
on asking Healy to elaborate he replied with this
Caroline
Others i can reassure - you I can't
am I really that bad? do you think I am blinded by my feelings in withdrawal and it is likely that I will heal from this over time? why am I so convinced I will never recover?
Put on citalopram July 2009 during a physical illness - didnt need it. 40mg
went down to 20mg July 2010 CT in Jan 2012 - 2.5 years on.
Tried to restart July 2012 due to 1 panic attack (never had one before - start of CT W/D) - adverse reaction
Down to 1.5mg from the failed RI
Now at 0.48 and trying to stabalize - been 6 weeks
now have SEVERE anxiety, akathsia, feel like Im on acid 24/7 depression, D/P, signed off work. Scared of everything..please God let me heal from this
I interpret it like he is saying .... you will heal, but reassuring you of that right now is going to be an issue. He knows you will heal but getting you to believe it in your mind, grasp on to that idea, and hold it there when you are deep in the middle of w/d - a/r would be a challenge. It will take time Iggy and as things start healing you will be able to really believe it will be ok. Right now you are in survival mode and it's hard.
Just think of this... It's hard to see the forrest for the trees, but you know it's there. You will recover, you just can't see it right now b/c of the changes SSRI made but as things start mending and you hike up to the top of the mountain from the bottom of the valley, you will be able to see everything more clearly and you can raise your hands and scream I AM FREE FROM THESE CHAINS OF W/D and just "know" that everything really will be ok from that point forward!!
Just keep swimming my IAWP sis.