theelt712's Zoloft Madness

[Sheila]

First, it is very hard for people who have not experienced this to believe it. Honestly, would you believe it if you had not experienced it? So, keep trying to educate your mother. Collect info and keep giving it to her.

Second, you took the Zoloft because of a panic attack or some kind of anxiety episode, right? So, *part* of what’s going on with you now is still that. You have some anxiety about things in your life that you deserve help with. It’s very hard for people to hold in mind that in an AR or WD you are dealing with *both* neurological and psychological issues. People tend to want to make it just one or the other.

But, this chemical onslaught interweaves with your life story and your personality. It tends to exacerbate any issues you had before. Everybody has vulnerabilities. I never met anyone who didn’t. So, even if you had no major psychological issues before w/d, your vulnerable areas will be magnified in w/d. Temporarily.

So, all of this is to say that one thing you might try with your mother is to avoid the tug-of-war about whether you have bona fide anxiety or WD, and start talking to her about how it’s really both. But, it’s crucial to see both parts – including the chemical damage, which has very predictable characteristics and course of recovery.

[theelt712]

I agree, it is hard to explain. I did get put on Zoloft after a week long anxiety episode.

[theelt712]

My emotions want to come back but they are really blunted as of now. I think Vitamin Water may have helped, as I 'feel' a bit better today aside from sinus pains. I even got a semi-scared rush, but not all the way scared. I just wish the depth would come back, but this is better than nothing.

[theelt712]

In a depressed state today. From my PP journal:

"I hate summer. This is probably *the* worst summer I have had. I try to have fun and make friends but no one really gets the inability to feel pleasure or appreciate simple things and I just feel empty inside. I almost want to cry. All I do is argue with my mom, and my ability to enjoy waking up is just gone. I just don't know what to do. Friends live far away, most are in tough situations and then there's me. I hate feeling as alone as I do. Everyday goes slower than the next and I don't know what to do....tears fill my eyes as I write this. I would give just about anything to go back in time and tell myself not to take the pill but if anything, it's far too late. All I can do is sit and wait...and wait....and wait. It's monotonous and honestly causes me to lose hope."

[Sheila]

We believe at IAWP that one of the most effective things you can do to help yourself heal is to identify and pursue your passions. This is not always easy, but you can start by trial and error. Also, *learning* anything new and interesting to you is excellent for re-building your brain.

Take a look at our Start-ups sub-forum and see if anything inspires you to go in some direction of your own. Look for something to study or practice. Anything that seems interesting or useful to you.

[theelt712]

That actually sounds like a good plan. I have been studying religion a lot lately, not because I am religious but the concept of religion is interesting.

[Iggy131313]

well that sounds great, is it all religions you are looking at or one in particular? start a thread in start ups and tell us all about the interesting things you find out! your doing so great. x

[theelt712]

Thanks Iggy. :) It is mostly the origins of Christianity and how it came to be.

[theelt712]

From the PP journal:

"Today is an odd day. Almost normal without the feeling of normal. The strange part is my body tried to emote when listening to music today [my stomach tensed up during a sad part of a song] but I couldn't honestly 'feel' the emotion of the song....but I do remember a blunted sadness being around. The feelings are still there, just blunted. They need to come out."

[theelt712]

Does anyone else get how you can 'feel' but not 'feel' an emotion? The depth of emotion isn't there, but the body says to me, "Yeah Epiphany, you should be feeling this way." It's extremely odd and very annoying.