theelt712's Zoloft Madness

[Moui]

Hi, you have a cute name. Yeah I had that feeling in WD. I remember when it cracked for a while and I felt true emotion I would write it down in the journal I kept all excited. Came and went and came again..
I may not always agree with the attitude on PP but I have to say texgirl does have some good points. I think you have this ssri thing, some anxiety and a classic case of some lovely teenage angst going on.
All the activities&distraction things you're doing I think are great. Sorry, I've read your posts here and there and such but I think you mentioned you're dancing and other things. I think if you are able to do these types of things you absolutely should surround yourself with activities. Seeing friends, talking (not about psychological issues, not ssri). You mentioned your 13year old friend won't go on ssri. I have to say dafuq is happening in the world when people this age are considering psyche altering drugs. Maybe a set time limit on the googling/dwelling on these types of issues. These activities are great for two reasons I think: 1. they help neurogenesis, brain building new pathways, rewiring and 2. it's a distraction. It's the whole CBT-thing, not adding secondary fears or adopting unhealthy thought/behaviour patterns. You mentioned the hypochondria tendency somewhere. Your therapist sounds like an asshole, lol. I hope you find someone capable.

[theelt712]

LOL Moui. First off, cute avatar. :) Reminds me of my own cat, who is currently sleeping. I really need new friends and new activities, current ones are either putting me under stress, going through anxiety, or live hundreds of miles away. I agree, what the fuck is happening to this world? I mean, sorry for being so harsh, I wish there was another way to say it but there wasn't. Breathing exercises don't help as much. :| I need help getting something to do.

[theelt712]

Trying to figure out who I am.....I wonder what I want to do. I just hate feeling confined to bed. Granted, it's raining out, I have no money, and I really can't do much. I guess you can not run a moneyless world. The darkness is ensnaring the outside world as I'm trying to find my inner way back to home. I guess that's the best way to describe what I'm going through. The odd dreams are beginning to go away and I'm sleeping a little more. Although they are still there, they are not as vivid as they used to be. Boredom sets in, and I hate being bored and feeling 'stuck'. I know I need to do something. I hate rain and boredom....and I kind of want to go back to sleep. That isn't very good. I'm listening to music and trying to find peace of mind, even without emotion. I guess that I'm so used to being fine tuned to my emotions that going without them makes me pay more attention to them than usual [and I used to be VERY emotionally involved].

[theelt712]

Just saw this funny SpongeBob episode about hypochondria. In the episode, people get bitten by a snail and everyone thinks that they have a disease after that. They make up symptoms and they think that they have "Mad Snail Disease". Before long, people start thinking that they have the disease, they believe it becomes airborne, and later in the episode a doctor comes in and tells everyone that the disease does NOT exist and that the symptoms are 'just common ailments' [in other words, they are normal].

[Sheila]

The religion interest sounds great, theelt! Maybe you could tell us a little something every day about what you’ve learned or are thinking about. If you feel like it, as Caroline said, you could start a thread in the Start-ups subforum to track your project and inspire others. Or you can just write about it here in your journal thread.

[theelt712]

Hmm, I learned recently that Christianity tried to take the holidays of the Pagan era going on in the early formations of the religion, thus the birth of Christmas being December 25th. Interesting.

[Junior]

That actually sounds like a good plan. I have been studying religion a lot lately, not because I am religious but the concept of religion is interesting.

Sounds fascinating. It's a life long interest of mine too.

[theelt712]

ELT here now, and I feel....odd today. Almost like a high. I feel but I don't feel, I'm numb but I'm not numb, I'm happy but I feel nothing. I wish I knew how to describe this. Anyone else get this?

[theelt712]

Would you imagine what it'd be like if these Big Pharma companies made an honest ad for SSRI's and similar problems? No one would buy this shit. Ever. Can you just imagine the truthful ads?

"Want to lose your emotions? Want to become impotent? Want to lose all chance of being happy just because you feel that you've lost all chance at being happy? Try sadbegon [aka lyingpharmamedicineiline], and within 3 weeks to a few years, you will lose all drive, interest, and just become flat! Why? Our medications rely on the flat effect, aka anhedonia, to make you not only sad....but not feel ANYTHING AT ALL! It will be a flat, grey utopia, just like in The Giver! IF YOU EXPERIENCE SIDE EFFECTS, don't worry, because our friends at Pfizer makes meds to take care of those side effects, and GlaxoSmithKline makes meds to take care of the other med's side effects. Don't worry!

In small voice, extremely rapidly, at the end of the video: WARNING; sudden discontinuation of these meds will result in a whole list of side effects and withdrawal effects so long that you can read them to your child as a bed time story. Call it "The SSRI Nightmare" when reading the list to children. These meds have not been well researched. Do not take this medicine. Ever."

But seriously..

[theelt712]

Ahh, damn nerve pain/chest discomfort/GERD problems scare the shit out off me! But enough about my symptoms. Today, I felt more 'happiness' than I have since I got on Zoloft. It was about 40-50% there, and today, I got genuinely scared when I saw a bee! LOL, it wasn't a full panic, but I felt something that's amazing. :) I want to study addictions more, it is interesting.