I see now. Uggh, I have this bad on and off headache. I'm kinda nervous for my MRI tomorrow, they are trying to see if I have been having seizures and I'm very scared about what they might find. D: I just want this to end soon. And here I am saying it like it makes a difference, LOL! Life just seems unreal today, but maybe it's because I'm bored and uninvolved. Even when I am involved, life just seems strange.
8 weeks on Zoloft in total, including my 4 week taper, ending on May 20th, 2013. Still going through emotional and partially physical hell.
aka Epiphany-
http://ssriandbenzowdhelp.freeforums.net/
My MRI= finished. Now to wait for the results. I am anxious! D:
8 weeks on Zoloft in total, including my 4 week taper, ending on May 20th, 2013. Still going through emotional and partially physical hell.
aka Epiphany-
http://ssriandbenzowdhelp.freeforums.net/
Considering a lot of things today. This is going to be a rather reflective journal post...I just learned that one of my favorite YouTubers is probably going to kill himself. I'd be devastated if he were to do so, as I've been a fan and subscriber of his for a while. He's dealt with chronic major depression and anxiety. Having been in that horrible state myself, I know how it feels...especially living with anhedonia and not taking pleasure from a lot like I used to does tear at my life daily.
He mentions a major event that happened to him that is driving him to do this, but my question is....why? Why die when there's so much to live for? If I had decided to end my life over anhedonia a few months ago or even two years ago when I was considering it over family events, I would not be who I am today. I live to see a better day. I live for the day that I have my pleasures back, my emotions, who I am, and for my friends. There are people that need and love me, no matter if I have been damaged for a time by medication or not. I honestly believe he should try SSRIS or some other form of meds. Meds are far better than death due to suicide.
If it saves a life and possibly improves him or the person, it is worth it. It is worth saving someone's life. Suicide is never worth it in the end. What does it prove? All I see is lost potential and the hurt and upset of a lot of people. Cory Monteith of Glee just died with so much potential. The last thing this world needs right now is another devastation. This isn't so much about meds as it is the value of life, but it is a thought I wanted to show you all....it gives insight as to what goes on inside my mind.
8 weeks on Zoloft in total, including my 4 week taper, ending on May 20th, 2013. Still going through emotional and partially physical hell.
aka Epiphany-
http://ssriandbenzowdhelp.freeforums.net/
Today in a few words: random. Thoughtful. MRI. Reflectful. Boring. Emotionless. I miss who I was. I want to go to sleep and it's not even 7 at night. I remember all of the good feelings I had in winter, daydreams, excitement...I miss those.
8 weeks on Zoloft in total, including my 4 week taper, ending on May 20th, 2013. Still going through emotional and partially physical hell.
aka Epiphany-
http://ssriandbenzowdhelp.freeforums.net/
I’m sure your MRI will be good. Let us know.
That’s very upsetting about the person you’ve been following on Youtube. It’s never just a traumatic event that makes someone seriously consider suicide; it’s how they feel about themselves. People who have gotten a lot of love and empathy and really feel compassionate towards themselves can actually metabolize quite a lot of trauma. This is why some war vets are devastated forever and others bounce back – it depends on the foundation they had going into the war.
And I agree, meds are preferable to suicide. You can recover from meds. You can't recover from suicide.
Meds free since June 2005.
"An initiation into shamanic healing means a devaluation of all values, an overturning of the profane world, a peeling away of inveterate handed-down notions of the world, liberation from everything preconceived. For that reason, shamanism is closely connected with suffering. One must suffer the disintegration of one's own system of thought in order to perceive a new world in the higher space."
-- Holger Kalweit
Couldn't agree more with you, Shelia. I read more about his situation and he had an adverse reaction to medication...and he's in physical pain. I feel bad, even though I don't know him in real life. Have not gotten MRI results, I am nervous.
8 weeks on Zoloft in total, including my 4 week taper, ending on May 20th, 2013. Still going through emotional and partially physical hell.
aka Epiphany-
http://ssriandbenzowdhelp.freeforums.net/
I truly believe these results are going to be just fine, Theelt.
Keep walking. Just keep walking.
Luc is right, MRI=PERFECTLY NORMAL! :) This is wonderful news.
8 weeks on Zoloft in total, including my 4 week taper, ending on May 20th, 2013. Still going through emotional and partially physical hell.
aka Epiphany-
http://ssriandbenzowdhelp.freeforums.net/
Meds free since June 2005.
"An initiation into shamanic healing means a devaluation of all values, an overturning of the profane world, a peeling away of inveterate handed-down notions of the world, liberation from everything preconceived. For that reason, shamanism is closely connected with suffering. One must suffer the disintegration of one's own system of thought in order to perceive a new world in the higher space."
-- Holger Kalweit
Shelia's happy smiley! Great times! :) My therapist still told me that I need meds and that if I go on them, I'll be happy. I don't believe her, nor will I ever about that. When I've tried to refute her arguments, all she's saying is, "Well, these people are smart, did you go to med school? Exactly..." and she's on meds so she is what Shelia would say.....'spellbound'. Completely dependent on them. I feel bad that as a therapist, she could not see that meds are not for me.
8 weeks on Zoloft in total, including my 4 week taper, ending on May 20th, 2013. Still going through emotional and partially physical hell.
aka Epiphany-
http://ssriandbenzowdhelp.freeforums.net/
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