my history

[grandmaD]

First 5 years
Aropax/Paxil in 1985 for severe back spasms (bed ridden) and told it was not addictive. It worked. After 2 years I was back to normal.

Rang the pain clinic Dr. (a different Dr. to the one who prescribed it) and was advised that I needed to stay on this med for life! I was stunned and horrified! When he realized how shocked I was, he said: “well just stay on it for 5 years”.

What a shame I didn’t try to get off it at that point! It seemed madness to me, but
I trusted in Drs.thinking they know best.

More coming ...

[Sheila]

Welcome, grandmaD!

I'm sorry you weren't given the truth about Paxil so that you could have made an informed decision.

We look forward to hearing more of your tale.

[stan]

hello Grandmad,

welcome here,
you have been trapped as many of us

[Luc]

Welcome, GrandmaD! Oh, yes, we all trusted the doctors. I wish we would have known better. Yet, nothing is lost and a lot can be gained. It may take some time to heal, but it will happen! It's good that you've joined us here. The more of us, the stronger we get. Take care!

[grandmaD]

I know I am not alone. Many of us have been trapped and tricked and lied to and that only adds to our frustration an anger! Anyway, I am dealing with that much better these days. I am glad for these forums because for so many years I just thought I had declining health.

[grandmaD]

My history
Next 5 years
When the 5 years were up, I tried to cut the dose in half and then a quarter, ending up back on a full dose. I repeated this procedure for years, not knowing what else to do and not realizing this was the cause of my many physical problems. During this time I continued to suffer backaches and had many headaches. I was taking a lot of painkillers and tried traction, tens machines, had x-rays all being of no help.

[grandmaD]

My history
The next 2 years
I was on a full dose during these years while I was doing foster care full time. My headaches improved dramatically as did my general health and I put it down to the satisfaction I felt in caring for children. Never once did it enter my mind it might be because of the tablet!

[grandmaD]

My history
The next 3 years
We moved house and stopped fostering and once again I questioned why I should be taking this tablet. I asked the chemist and he advised that I cut back to ¾ of a tablet and then ½ and then ¼ every 2 weeks. How simple was that!

This also failed and the chemist was at a loss. So it was back to a full dose. At this point I was having lots of headaches (at least 3 or 4 and sometimes 7 a week) even on a full dose.

My back got worse again and I had cortisone injections without effect, had more x-rays and physio, tried swimming which made me worse and started walking each day.
I added more aches and pains, especially in hips and knees. This was put down to arthritis. No Dr. could explain what was wrong with me.

I was only 50 years old and felt like I was 80. Even my 70 year old father could climb the steps to his apartment and I could not! I had to use lifts and I walking up hills was difficult, if not impossible. I could not stand for more than 5 or 10 minutes and could not sit for more than 20 minutes and had to lie down the rest of the time due to my aching back. Everyone seemed to think it was normal and that I was “just getting old”.

The headaches continued to plague me and I often had tension/migraine? Headaches that lasted 3 days each week and had to go to bed. I was convinced I had a brain tumour, and after persevering (and paying for) 3 visits to the Dr. about it, he finally agreed to a brain scan.
I was most relieved to find it was clear, however, the Dr. could still not explain why I had so many headaches every week. I decided to take painkillers every 4 hours every day, however I ended up with indigestion and naseau.


I sought a different Dr. and I was pleased to learn that she refused to prescribe Paxil! I asked her to help me get off it. She switched me to another tablet and I didn’t ask any questions, believing this tablet would help me get off. This particular one was disastrous! I was a total zombie. I couldn’t get out of bed until lunch time each day. I felt like I was in a dream, a robot, empty, a nothing person with no mind. This was proven one day when I put the electric kettle on the stove and lit the gas to make a cup of tea. The kettle began to melt and flames were coming out of it and I was stunned!
I didn’t know what was happening. This was utterly devastating.

She then prescribed another one which made me sick and naseaus. So then it was another one and that gave me chest pains and at this point I learned these were also anti-depressents! I was angry! I was so mad, that I decided to CT and gave yet another Dr. the flick. (nol. 6) and all Drs. And go it alone.

I tried CT for 6 months and ended up with severe depression To tell you the truth, my life was not worth living during these 6 months. I lost muscle strength and I could walk for only about 10mins (to the front gate) it was such a huge effort. I tried swimming again, but it hurt my arms. The pain prevented me from doing much, going anwhere or enjoying anything. I really believed I was dying and accepted that fact and decided “that’s it”. My only thoughts each day were “is it today?”

I eventually found another Dr. and could not stop crying and he urged me to go back on the full dose and stay on it forever. So I did, as I was so miserable.

[Cosette123]

Hello grandmaD!
Your story is so similar to ours and especially mine.
I felt like I was in a dream, a robot, empty, a nothing person with no mind.
I used to say that I was a "dead-living" person

I added more aches and pains, especially in hips and knees. This was put down to arthritis. No Dr. could explain what was wrong with me.

I was only 50 years old and felt like I was 80. Even my 70 year old father could climb the steps to his apartment and I could not! I had to use lifts
I lost muscle strength and I could walk for only about 10mins (to the front gate) it was such a huge effort
Same for me and after 4 years off Paxil I am still suffering from muscles weakness and I am not able to walk correctly.
But happily I have had big other improvements .We need a lot of patience...

[Sheila]

Oh, my friend, I am so sorry to hear of this terrible, long story of iatrogenesis. What a hard, hard road. You are incredibly strong and persevering. You have a strong life force.

Is there more of the story coming? Are you tapering? Are you on Paxil only? What is your life like now?

Again, my heart goes out to you. Thank goodness you have finally discovered the truth and now can begin to heal for real. All this misery will be turned into something good.