Neuro-emotion

[Sheila]

For many reasons, our emotions are on a hair-trigger, amplified, and perseverative. We probably don't even know all of what's going on physically yet, but it includes diminished prefrontal lobe executive functions, rebound amygdala, dysregulated HPA, over-active adrenals, etc.

The neuro-emotions include --

neuro-fear
neuro-anger
neuro-guilt
neuro-shame
neuro-hurt
neuro-regret
neuro-self-criticism
neuro-grudge-holding

...and more!

It is very, very confusing to have these intense neuro-emotions and try to remember that they are not what they appear to be. Emotions are compelling. Emotions during recovery from psych meds are even more compelling.

Sometimes, the neuro-emotion is really totally artificial. Some of my neuro-fears have been so unlikely to come to pass as to bear no resemblance to reality or to my personal history.

But, I think a lot of the time, part of what makes it so confusing is that there is a grain of reality to the neuro-emotion. For example, some situation might make you a bit angry under normal circumstances, but the neuro-anger is huge. This is when it's very difficult to 1) catch it in the first place and notice this is a neuro-emotion, 2) convince ourselves, yes, this is really a neuro-emotion, not a real emotion, 3) contain the emotion, try not to act on it, or channel the energy into something safe and constructive -- like exercise or journaling or building a birdhouse. :-)

Whenever you're having an intense, disturbing feeling, try to remind yourself that, right now -- even if it does have something to do with reality -- it is largely a neuro-emotion that you wouldn't be feeling if you were fully healed. And you *will* be fully healed. It's happening! Get ready!

[Sheila]

Shame, guilt, and self-criticism
And the 5 revolutionary seconds

We are designed to learn from our experience. We're not born knowing everything. There is an infinite amount to learn. We can only ever act based on incomplete knowledge. We have strong feelings and strong needs.

And so we do things that we later regret. This cannot be avoided. It is a part of being human.

There is a global pandemic of shame, guilt, and self-criticism. We are all vulnerable to it. We all need to feel good about ourselves and feel that others approve of us. That's universal. Some of us were raised in families where, unfortunately, shaming, guilt-tripping, and criticism were used a lot, so we have to deal with this even more.

Big Pharma, and the advertising industry take advantage of this human need, and make a profit from it.

Everyone is somewhere on a path of recovery of dealing with this.

Illness of any kind tends to make these feelings worse, because when you're ill, you're not functioning in line with norms and expectations.

"I should be getting better faster."
"I shouldn't have gotten sick in the first place."
"I must deserve punishment and that's why this happened."
"I'm not handling this as well as other people."

And then, you add the fact that *our* particular illness involves temporary neurological damage that makes these feelings even worse. It may be that the prefrontal cortex, which makes us temperate in our assessments, is under-performing. And the amygdala, which is reactive and negatively biased, is over-performing.

Whatever you felt bad about before you took meds is now amplified. Plus things you never dreamt of feeling bad about have been added to the list.

So, now we have neuro-shame, neuro-guilt, and neuro-self-criticism.

This neurological damage will eventually end all by itself. You don't even have to do anything.

The part of this that is psychological can be addressed, too. You can decide whether you feel well enough to do that now, or should wait until later, do it on your own, or with a therapist.

In the meantime, you can do a simple, yet revolutionary act that will make your life a tiny bit easier, and maybe even spur the healing a bit. The way to do this is to practice where you put your attention. Culture, family, personal history, illness, and toxic meds -- all these factors conspire to make you focus on your flaws (real and imagined). So, every time you choose to shift your attention from this for even five seconds, it is a revolutionary act.

You can focus on anything else -- the image of a tree, spaciousness, a beloved pet, your ideal future, God, a compliment someone gave you recently, your breath.

This may seem like nothing, but every time you *choose* where to put your attention, it is a revolutionary act that has profound ramifications. It's revolutionary just to notice that you're feeling shame, guilt, self-criticism. It's revolutionary to permit yourself to try, to dare to try, to dare to hope. These are the really big achievements. Everything else -- like five seconds of focusing on something relieving or cheering -- is icing on the cake.

[Cosette123]

Thank you so much Sheila! Everything you wrote is a great help for me and so much encouraging.

[Junior]

I just re-read all of that. Given the current flood of negative thoughts and anger that seems to be pervading my brain at present - I really needed to KNOW that it's 99% withdrawal. It's amazing. I've dropped just 2mg over the past couple of months and I'm not at that low dose that seems to be so problematic, yet this is happening. Arrrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhh

Thank you Sheila

[Cosette123]

I have had huge anxiety again for several weeks which paralyzed me literally and prevented me from going outside alone .Not agoraphobia (I want to go outside) but fear of walking (Off balance), fear of driving, fear of everything.It was unbearable;
Yesterday I had to see my doctor(Homeopath) and I had asked a friend to come with me.But I suddenly decided to go alone and to fight my fears: I told me that these fears are only neuro-emotion, not me. And I did it!
Today I plan to go alone to the supermarket and maybe to drink a coffee after my shopping.
These fears are only withdrawal and they will not last.

[Sheila]

You guys are doing great! I was in therapy for years, being encouraged to listen to my feelings. Now, I have to NOT listen to my feelings?!?! Is this confusing, or what?

[Junior]

Hi Sheila, that's the thing I find the hardest. I've spent years trying to understand my emotions. I come from an emotional family - dad is just plain emotional, mum, my sister and I all have mental illness (depression, bipolar, GAD) - and my bro, while not suffering any mental illness, is pretty emotional as well. So being emotional is 'normal' for me. I also realise that people with mood disorders like me (MDD) tend to be more emotional. So i've learned to accept all of that. THEN I studied psychology! Now I have to unlearn everything I've previously learned and try to ignore all the negativity. It's not easy!

[Sheila]

Oof. It sure ain't easy. First of all, there are very different theories about what causes emotionality or mental illness. Then, you add in exposure to a substance -- in this case, Paxil.

Causality of mental states is something there is vast disagreement about at this point in our evolution.

What I like to do is cover my bases and use a three-part model. In any given situation when I'm in distress, I look at the situation as having a neurological component (I believe I am recovering from brain changes from medication); a psychodynamic psychological component (I believe my repetitive experiences in my early, formative relationships have shaped the lens through which I interpret life still), and a cosmic component (I believe everything is happening for a reason, to orchestrate my evolution to greater wisdom and happiness).

Sometimes, one of these components will seem much more relevant to a given situation. But, sometimes, it really feels like the smartest thing to do is to hold that all three are true at the same time.

Easy, right? Ha!

[Junior]

I agree with all of that. I firmly believe in mind, body and spirit being separate realms although there IS the so-called 'mind / body problem' - is the mind part of the body or is it separate? A philosophical conundrum!
In this case I think the mind and body are connected and it is difficult separating the purely psychological from the physiological. As for the spirit - I agree that everything happens for a reason and I have a feeling I will be writing about this withdrawal thing - later..... but that does NOT help me right now!

[Sheila]

I hear you. It is a tough, tough row to hoe....