13 years on psychotropics

[stan]

Chest pain when exercise

Since months until yesterday, i always go outdoor for a walk, with akathisia and withdrawal i walk normal(as a string puppet) and after 30 steps, chest pain, then i rest two/three minutes on a wall and restart 30/40 steps, and become lightheaded;
this chest pain comes similar as a amount exercise gives chest pain, a reflex, a bad reflex which my kind of walking maintains;
if i continue to walk so "quickly", i will still have chest pain in three years; i have to broke this cycle;
so i go out today as every day, and 30 steps after: chest pain; have to stop;
i changed my walk, more little steps, very less quickly, not so far as usual;
i had all time mild chest pain, and when it increase, i slow, stop, rest and restart;
outcome: less lightheaded, less chest pain = better; but it was not easy to walk slowly with inner restlessness(akathisia);
if i want to progress it is better to train the body to not have pains when walk;
I have not tried this in stairs, but i will in the future after practice;
i have constantly mild ribcage pain and spinal, but this is another thing;

[Sheila]

OK, this sounds like a good experiment. Keep telling us what you discover.

[stan]

After trying this 10 days, it makes sense but it does not work, my state does not obey, I am obliged to follow the waves, I can not do anything against it; sorry...

[stan]

31 months mark

hi all,

- walking outdoor:chest pain after maybe 40 steps, high emotional
- akathisia standing, some days very severe
- derealization has diminished
- dizzy from time to time
- globally back, spinal, ribcage, chest, legs still mild pains (back pain has diminished)
- at night dry mouth,eyes,nocturia,maybe mild akathisia trembling
- during day at home i suffer only mild anxiety/chest pain

i am better than 6 months ago but still am very disabled

i am waiting 32 months mark

[Sheila]

I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time, Stan. It's an ordeal. I'm so glad that your anxiety is only mild when you're at home, and that you can see improvement from 6 months ago. I'm sorry it's so slow, but that's great, great news.

Always thinking of you, and sending you healing energy!

[stan]

thanks Sheila
new resolutions in my life from today(a few days before 61 years)

- accept that I have to rest quite often when I walk, have dizziness, chest pain, bad vision
- accept that I can not make an effort, even small muscular
- accept nocturia, dry mouth and eyes, accept that it may improve or if I have Sjogren go worse
- accept that my emotions are too high, too much adrenal
- accept having akathisia mostly standing, and it may not improve and have to live with
- accept the ribcage chest pain when I move
- accept that all this will be worse and improves with time
- accept that I am an anxious, that paxil has made worse,
- accept that improvements here and there will take months and months
- accept i will never improve as strong as i was before my big mistake of trusting doctors
- accept dying will naturally come when it will be my time
- decide to never trust medical until die
- decide to rebuilt a new life in this chaos, step by step, to try to suffer the less possible

[Sheila]

Wow. Radical acceptance! Very impressive. I believe some of these things will turn out better than you can imagine right now. But, increasing the acceptance of what *is* happening is very, very helpful and wise.

Maybe just try focusing on accepting what *is* happening, rather than forcing yourself to accept things that haven't happened yet (ie the future)? But, hey, do whatever is relieving!

[Cosette123]

Stan, don't be too pessimistic...

[stan]

orthostatic hypotension, vagus nerve, dysautonomia, central nervous system alteration

I have had problems when stand out of bed or go in the bed, but since two days it is worst
Tonight when I got up to pee (I have nocturia), each time I feel faint, so I get up slowly, but in addition i have it when I go ly to bed,
i wonder how i can sleep between my peeing!
Tonight, I experience it very hard when i lie, then I'm afraid

I wonder every night if I wake up next morning;
the whole is mixed with anxiety, akathisia, nerves starts,
as it is scary, I have more tremors night and throughout the day
Yet lately, I feel that I have little changes for improvements, as the brain moves to repair
Is this going to improve? as before an improvement, it is often worse

all that appeared after stopping antidepressants (after one year)

I have had vertigo who have panicked and are almost gone(will maybe come back as it is merry go round)

the problem is that if I do not hold me back, I could called for help many times and I still held so far; the help, unfortunately will be more drugs

I will put a bigger pillow to be raised at night and hope it will diminish

i tried to check tension, pouls, 150/70 but because fear it is normal i think; pouls 80/90
during day, it slows to 120/70 (with akathisia)
and my original problem was anxiety which is increased today; it will diminish with time

i will see how i will be this night

[stan]

one thing that has improved these days is derealization when outdoor, a better looking and feeling at environment, i see more flowers, colors are more colored,
i feel a more natural anxiety which i can little fight and diminish, i feel i am improving slowly
but paradox
nights are very bad, not insomnia as many, but nervousness, dysautonomia things