Sheila my dear friend,
I just thought, I wonder if you are able to somehow merge this thread with my journal as I think it is an important element of my "journey"? No problems if it's not possible. Just wanted my "story" all in one place.
Thanks and much love,
Lotty
Started Seroxat/Paxil 1995. Currently at 5.5mg Seroxat/Paxil & 1mg xanax (0.5mg twice a day)
Lotty,
i was in your state, i put me in survive mode, waiting, and a day i feel better
I merged your threads, Lotty.
I hope the surgery goes really smoothly. I think it’s a great idea to go – as you say, you’ll have no regrets – and being in a different setting, supporting your mother, etc. will undoubtedly be good for you, even if it is also challenging.
You can keep in touch with us from Italy if you want!
The only thought I have about the w/d-induced aversion to food is that I can really relate to your disbelief and rejection and shock about what is happening to you. I *really* do. What I am trying to do, myself, is emphasize empathizing with myself. I can’t believe this is happening. I can’t accept it. But, I try to be towards myself the way I wish everyone and the universe would be towards me. Even if the universe is treating me in a way that feels utterly abusive, I try to be kind and compassionate to myself. Try to look at eating in that light.
Meds free since June 2005.
"An initiation into shamanic healing means a devaluation of all values, an overturning of the profane world, a peeling away of inveterate handed-down notions of the world, liberation from everything preconceived. For that reason, shamanism is closely connected with suffering. One must suffer the disintegration of one's own system of thought in order to perceive a new world in the higher space."
-- Holger Kalweit
Lotty..........
I will keep you and your mother in my thoughts and prayers. I hope all goes well for both of you.
BTW, I lost 38 pounds when I was tapering but DID gain some weight back once I completed the taper. I'm certain you will gain some of the weight back too Lotty.
I know I couldn't eat anything until about 9 or 10 o'clock at night so I guess I'm going to give advice that I myself couldn't follow but really do try to eat tiny snacks.
I know how scary all this is though. One wonders how they will ever make it thrugh but somehow we do. It's a Blessed MIRACLE how our brains and bodies still manage to carried us through despite being in such critical states.
I'm still in awe about it all but mostly in awe of the strength and determination of the human spirit to survive all this.
Samsara
Nobody's gonna break my stride......nobody's gonna slow me down......Oh no, I gotta keep on moving." (Men at Work)
"To face my trials with the grace of a woman rather than the grief of a child". (Veronica A. Shoffstall)
40 Months drug-free from kindling & tolerance WD (Doxepin) + many past C/T & C/switches from benzos, ADs, and APs, Lithium & thryoid h rx'd for severe GI symptoms.
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